lank tangles

for a semester now, i've lived in a dormitory where the bathwater coming out of the showers is always (always, i tell you) either lukewarm or scorching. it just gets holy uncomfortable when you've to bathe late in the morning, you'd be sweating rivers soon as you turn off the shower. here in my rented second floor room though, in a house in sitio defuego, san francisco, general trias, cavite, it's a whole different scenario. early each morning i'd come out of the house with numb fingers, thanks to the freezing bathwater at 5 am. i step outside to begin the long walk from my house to the tricycle stop for the office and the sun on my face is simply glorious, so nice that despite the incessant pounding in my head brought about by unintentional all-nighters listening to a 28-year old's migraine-inducing stories about being pregnant, abortion, lost love, fate vs. destiny, palm-readers and predictions about the men to come, i'm driven to smile and hum a little tune and add an extra spring in my step. hello, sunshine, it's a beautiful morning.

that was about a week ago.

the sun has been a mere reflection on a fogged-out mirror. it's amazing how in a matter of days, from jumping out of bed at 5 i've gone back to crawling out of it reluctantly at 6 each morning. not that i'm complaining, an overcast sky is an ingredient for a great day for me. it's just that.. in here, the sun for me is an incentive. sometimes, you need an extra push so you don't slip into the ditch of feeling lonely, especially since i've virtually been living alone for weeks with no other soul to have decent conversations with; i can feel the thickening cobwebs in my head swaying in the wind when i walk.

and i'm working extra now. i've added two hours to my regular eight, so i'm working a 7-6 shift, but i actually get off work at around 7. i keep thinking i've morphed into a workaholic. i'd start running around the plant after coffee at 6:30 in the morning with only a pitstop for another cup of coffee around 12:30, then it'd be dinner at 8:00. tiring, really, my legs would ache real bad from the to-and-fro trips to my sampling points, my month-old shoes look like they've been überused for years, but ironically, the job is exciting. i think, contrary to my first impression about working in a plant, i'd do just fine in one, for as long as two years or so. that's a theory. i can't really tell what my freedom-philic, carefree-bordering-on-hedonistic soul would demand of me next.

the production run ends with today. and i've a week left in this assignment. i don't know how to feel about it, really.. but i did sigh just as i was typing the last sentence.